The house has been very quiet tonight. I thought it would be a great opportunity to sit and spend some time with God but my thoughts have kept me from doing that.
I am craving some intimate time with the Lord. I just want to seek Him and talk to Him and listen as He talks back. I seem to have so much more time to myself lately but I am finding it harder and harder to steal away to be with God. Its not that He’s unavailable and its not that I don’t HAVE the time but its more a laziness on my part. Even as I type that I am struck by how odd it is that I can crave this time SO deeply and yet when the Lord gives it to me then I overwhelmingly have this lazy attitude.
I am not sure that it is laziness alone but there is a lot on my mind tonight. I am stressed about money to be honest. I have taken a pretty big pay cut and even though I have trimmed my bills back to almost nothing I am still afraid that I am not going to be able to make my bills when the month comes to an end. I know that the Lord is faithful to give me the things I need. It just feels like God is asking me to take another step out of the boat. Now it would stand to reason that since I had already stepped out of the boat once that the second time would be easier but rest assured that is NOT the case. It is still very scary every time my foot is placed on the ravenous waves.
I am always astounded that when I sit and write there are so many revelations that are brought to my attention. It is like all of the things that swirl around my mind seem to just be brought into perfect clarity. I am so thankful that God has given me a passion for writing and that He uses that gift to bring His will and purpose for my life into view.
